MINDFUL EATING FOR THE HOLIDAYS - some ideas

I decided to attach a copy of a handout that I will be using tomorrow night at a talk I'm giving at the Weight Loss Institute at De Paul Hospital.

Mindfulness is being aware of what you are doing while you are doing it without judgement.


Please look at the following feelings and thoughts to determine if any of them might be familiar to you at this time of the year:


· Exhaustion
· Feeling inadequate
· Disappointment
· Trying to make everybody happy
· Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning
· Cooking, cooking, cooking
· Fear of unpleasant experiences with family members
· Not enough $$
· Needing “the perfect presents” for everybody
· Not enough time
· Rushing
· Waiting in long lines
· Feeling frantic
· Having regrets about past
· Wishing for more….
· Depression
· Anxiety
· Sadness
· Unpleasant memories of past holidays
· Spending too much $$ & worrying about paying bills
· Fear of letting others down
· Too many expectations
· Wishing holidays were over
· Disappointment about gifts received
· Others letting you down
· You do all the work and get no appreciation
· Can’t be with loved ones
· Loneliness
· Hate crowds
· Hate lines
· Feelings of emptiness
· Fear of overeating
· Feelings of “never enough”
· Don’t want the fun to end
· Wish holidays were like they were when you were a kid
· Miss deceased loved ones
· Wish you weren’t with whomever you’re with
· Longing for something more
· Feel like everybody else is having a better time than you are
· Can’t get enough
· Putting everybody else first and not getting anything back
· No time to relax
· Missing someone
· Feelings of being left out
· Missing “the old days”
· Feeling not good enough
· Missing simpler times of your childhood
· Feeling of powerlessness
· Emptiness
· Feel like there’s a hole inside you that can’t be filled
· Feelings of hopelessness
· Feeling rejected
· Boredom

The thoughts and feelings listed above and many more feel uncomfortable. In the past we have “used” food to numb ourselves, or to space out, or to distract ourselves from feeling them. When we bring mindfulness into our lives, we become aware of these feelings and the discomfort that they cause without running away from them. We find ways to deal with them other than through the use of food. This frees us to enjoy food without guilt because we no longer need to compulsively overeat. We can savor our meals, instead of mindlessly eating.

During the holidays we often try to bring back what we remember as warm, loving days of the past by eating the same food. If we eat half of the pumpkin pie that looks like Grandma’s pumpkin pie, maybe this time it will bring her back to life. Maybe we’ll feel the innocence, wonder and carefree freedom that we felt as a child.

For others of us, there are painful childhood holiday memories. We want to stuff down those memories with as much food as possible.

These strategies only work in the short-term, if at all. We then have to face the fact that we have once again overeaten compulsively. Most times we are eating so rapidly that we are not even tasting the food. We feel physically full, but emotionally empty.

Mindful awareness helps us to see our habitual patterns. We have compassion for ourselves as we come to see that food was the best coping mechanism we had. However, we now are able to wisely make better choices through the use of mindfulness. This frees us to have a healthy relationship with food. It also frees us to open up to a glorious life that is not centered around eating.

My clients often tell me that the holidays are "all about the food". This may very well have been true in the past.

Here is my question to you? What would you like your holidays to be about? Sure, food will be there, but what would really bring you peace, love and well being? It's totally up to you and me.

I'm going to do my best to bring mindfulness into these days and evenings so that I am aware of what is going on inside me. It's so easy to flip into the 2 extremes of chaos or rigidity. If I compassionately observe my internal energy, I will be more likely to head off disasters.

Wishing you mindfulness.

Body Image

Last week I had lunch with my daughter, Jessica. It's always wonderful to have time together with her. We have much in common.

I began talking to her about how sad I think it is that so many females waste valuable moments, days, weeks, etc. of their lives feeling unacceptable because of the way that their bodies look. Their focus is on other women's bodies and a running comparison with their own bodies. If they feel like the loser in this comparison, they're miserable and then feel painful thoughts of inferiority. They avoid doing things and going places until they lose some weight. I told Jessica that I used to be like that and that I'm so grateful that is all behind me. Famous Last Words.

That very evening I attended my gentle yoga / meditation group with a group of women & 1 or 2 brave men. I have participated in this group for almost 2 years & really look forward to going there. I feel very close to everybody who attends as we have had many wonderful moments together.

As we come in, we each go to the cupboard to take out a yoga mat & several blankets. We arrange our little space in the circle with our wonderful leader at the head. She begins with an inspirational reading. I was sitting on my meditation cushion, eyes closed, taking in the meaning of the words she had read and just settling into the lovely inner peace that always slowly moves into my body, like a mist covering a lake after a rain. I smiled to myself knowing that I had a full hour and a half of gentle stretches done at my body's own rate and intensity, followed by meditation.

I became aware that someone had settled down on my left. I opened my left eye and saw that it was a female I had never seen before. I went back to my revery again. A couple of minutes later we stood up & I glanced over at her, to give her a smile of welcome. I noticed that she was much thinner and taller than I. I also noticed that awareness was followed by a tightening in my stomach (maybe I was pulling in my stomach, not sure) There are intermittant mirrors on the wall ahead of us. I couldn't see myself, but I could clearly see the "new girl" on the block, in all of her perfection. I noticed how muscular her arms were. I saw the firmness of her abdomen and thighs. I was beginning to not like this person at all. All of my serenity had burned off like the mist over the lake when the sun comes out. My breathing was irregular. In some of our stretches, we rotate to the right, followed by rotation to the left. I couldn't wait for the rights to change to the left so that I could be even more aware of how superior she was, how inadequate I was. We began to do a simple balance pose on 1 foot. I could not hold it for more than a millisecond. I realized that I was totally ungrounded. I had lost myself.

Suddenly I remembered my conversation with Jessica & felt a smile come to my face. Oops!! Look at how quickly I had become lost. I spent years of my life lost in this type of painful comparison, so even though I was lost, I was in, indeed, very familiar territory. Once I realized what was happening, I was able to detach from this unhealthy behavior. I began to focus on my breath which brought my awareness back inside my own body and being. It felt sooooooo good to come back home!

Now I was back in my new familiar territory of self-care, self-acceptance just as I am. Mmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhh This was so much better. I felt safe, secure and serene. I settled down into total body (my body) awareness. My body needs this gentle movement and this acceptance. I spent the majority of my life searching for this wonderful way of being. I used food in my search. It helped keep me lost. Now I use food to support my newfound health.

My awareness of the new girl had moved to the background of my consciousness. It was always nice to have others present, but this time is my time for me to renew my body through gentle stretches and to renew my connection with my inner self.