A Real Life Example of Integration

Good morning, Dear Reader. I woke up this AM with the thought that it would be a good idea to give you an example from my life of what I taught you about in last night's blog, so here goes:

Yesterday I had clients back-to-back for 5 hours without a break other than 5 min. between when I tried to check my phone messages, touch up my lipstick, drink some water or tea, run to the restroom, do a mini-meditation, etc. I realized that I had become over-hungry because I hadn't included food in my 5 min. breaks. Uh-oh!! I became aware of that slightly shaky, light-headed sensation that tells me that I have gone too long without food.

Up to this point I had been in the lovely flow of integration of being connected with my clients. Time had flown by. However, at this point I realized that I was at risk. I could feel myself moving into chaos. My mind was darting around telling me that I needed FOOD FAST NOW - LOTS OF FOOD!! I was aware of the tension of emptiness in my stomach, that I was gulping air. My mind is reminding me that my next client is in the waiting room, WAITING!

Welcome to CHAOS. I had been in the flow of integration a short time before, but now I was flailing around in emotional, mental & physiological (bodily) chaos!!

Suddenly I remembered that I had put a jar of dry roasted almonds into my desk drawer last week. I yanked my drawer open, pulled out the jar, got the lid off, intending to stuff as many almonds into my mouth as possible at once (ala hot dog eating contest on tv over the 4th of July weekend!) Suddenly I "woke up" to what was happening. I was in chaos. Part of me wanted ALMONDS - NOW - FAST - ALL OF THEM!! Another part of me was rigidly shaking its finger at me saying, "Shame on you, Cheryl. You know very well that there is a lot of fat in nuts. No nuts for you. Wait until after your next client & then you can have a free hour when you can go get a salad."

I allowed these 2 very different voices in my head - 1 that was chaotic, 1 that was rigid - to rest in my awareness. It became clear to me that there was a middle way between eating the entire jar of almonds OR eating none. I poured a handful out & slowly began to savor each one. I felt a tremendous relief. My body knew that food was on its way. My mind knew that I was settling down with this energy that was coming into my body. After 10 or so nuts, I was fine. I was calm and satisfied. I would be able to greet my next client and move into the wonderful space of connection between us.

I was back into the flow of the River of Integration. There was no remorse that usually follows choices made from a chaotic state. There was no discomfort that usually follows choices made from a state of rigidity.

I was once again present in my life. I was present for myself and present for my client so that we could work together to help her find any ways that integration would help her in her struggles.

I hope that this example is helpful.

Brain Fitness

I have to share some very exciting information with you. I am part way through a year long on-line webinar course with the man I consider my mentor. He is Dan Siegel, MD. I have read his books & listened to his teaching CDs for the past 10 yrs. I am highly recommending his books. My understanding of mindful eating has grown by leaps and bounds as a result of what I am learning.

This way of understanding our experience of life is called Interpersonal Neurobiology. I would like to share some of the exciting things I am learning.

Mindsight is what Dan calls the way that we can learn about the amazingly rich internal life that we all have. Many of us resist knowing about this part of ourselves. I believe that this is out of fear of the unknown. I have come to see that we can only tame that fear with awareness of what is. Gently getting to know ourselves in this incredibly intimate way is what many if not most of us have been "hungering for" all of our lives.

Most of us with eating issues tend to use All or Nothing thinking or this is also referred to as Black or White thinking. We are either on a diet OR we are eating out of control. We are either being Good OR being Bad when it comes to our eating. We are over-exercising to the point of shin splints & stress fractures OR unable to get up off of the sofa. It never even occurs to us that there is a middle way. In reality this Middle Way brings us harmony, comfort and well-being.

With mindsight we see that this middle way comes from what is called integration. Integration is the linking of 2 separate parts. This integration can be seen like a river that is flowing along. There are banks on either side of this river. One bank is chaos; the other bank is rigidity. When you boil all mental disorders down, each is an example of chaos, rigidity or both.

Bingeing and other out of control eating patterns are examples of chaos. Strict dieting is an example of rigidity. Either example can only be maintained for a limited time until we swing to the opposite side. In the flow of the River of Integration we are flexible, forgiving, creative, mindful and healthy. In the flow of that River of Integration we will find a way to lose weight and maintain our weight without struggle.

I intend to continue to blog about what I am learning. Please let me know what you think.