MINDFUL EATING FOR THE HOLIDAYS - some ideas

I decided to attach a copy of a handout that I will be using tomorrow night at a talk I'm giving at the Weight Loss Institute at De Paul Hospital.

Mindfulness is being aware of what you are doing while you are doing it without judgement.


Please look at the following feelings and thoughts to determine if any of them might be familiar to you at this time of the year:


· Exhaustion
· Feeling inadequate
· Disappointment
· Trying to make everybody happy
· Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning
· Cooking, cooking, cooking
· Fear of unpleasant experiences with family members
· Not enough $$
· Needing “the perfect presents” for everybody
· Not enough time
· Rushing
· Waiting in long lines
· Feeling frantic
· Having regrets about past
· Wishing for more….
· Depression
· Anxiety
· Sadness
· Unpleasant memories of past holidays
· Spending too much $$ & worrying about paying bills
· Fear of letting others down
· Too many expectations
· Wishing holidays were over
· Disappointment about gifts received
· Others letting you down
· You do all the work and get no appreciation
· Can’t be with loved ones
· Loneliness
· Hate crowds
· Hate lines
· Feelings of emptiness
· Fear of overeating
· Feelings of “never enough”
· Don’t want the fun to end
· Wish holidays were like they were when you were a kid
· Miss deceased loved ones
· Wish you weren’t with whomever you’re with
· Longing for something more
· Feel like everybody else is having a better time than you are
· Can’t get enough
· Putting everybody else first and not getting anything back
· No time to relax
· Missing someone
· Feelings of being left out
· Missing “the old days”
· Feeling not good enough
· Missing simpler times of your childhood
· Feeling of powerlessness
· Emptiness
· Feel like there’s a hole inside you that can’t be filled
· Feelings of hopelessness
· Feeling rejected
· Boredom

The thoughts and feelings listed above and many more feel uncomfortable. In the past we have “used” food to numb ourselves, or to space out, or to distract ourselves from feeling them. When we bring mindfulness into our lives, we become aware of these feelings and the discomfort that they cause without running away from them. We find ways to deal with them other than through the use of food. This frees us to enjoy food without guilt because we no longer need to compulsively overeat. We can savor our meals, instead of mindlessly eating.

During the holidays we often try to bring back what we remember as warm, loving days of the past by eating the same food. If we eat half of the pumpkin pie that looks like Grandma’s pumpkin pie, maybe this time it will bring her back to life. Maybe we’ll feel the innocence, wonder and carefree freedom that we felt as a child.

For others of us, there are painful childhood holiday memories. We want to stuff down those memories with as much food as possible.

These strategies only work in the short-term, if at all. We then have to face the fact that we have once again overeaten compulsively. Most times we are eating so rapidly that we are not even tasting the food. We feel physically full, but emotionally empty.

Mindful awareness helps us to see our habitual patterns. We have compassion for ourselves as we come to see that food was the best coping mechanism we had. However, we now are able to wisely make better choices through the use of mindfulness. This frees us to have a healthy relationship with food. It also frees us to open up to a glorious life that is not centered around eating.

My clients often tell me that the holidays are "all about the food". This may very well have been true in the past.

Here is my question to you? What would you like your holidays to be about? Sure, food will be there, but what would really bring you peace, love and well being? It's totally up to you and me.

I'm going to do my best to bring mindfulness into these days and evenings so that I am aware of what is going on inside me. It's so easy to flip into the 2 extremes of chaos or rigidity. If I compassionately observe my internal energy, I will be more likely to head off disasters.

Wishing you mindfulness.