Well, last post I mentioned the possibility of my recommending books, CDs, etc to you here and that Amazon would provide the info so that you may directly order the book from this blog - pretty cool! I asked for feedback & I have only had positive feedback so I will proceed, accordingly.
I began "studying" the issue of weight management & eating disorders when I was in graduate school & knew that I wanted to specialize in that area. I guess I figured that I had spent my entire life paying attention to my weight issues & that now it was time to help others & that, hopefully, it would continue to help me. Of course one of the great parts of my job as a counselor is that is that I am inspired by my clients' efforts, ideas, and creativity.
Geneen Roth was the very first person whose books I began to read to help me understand what was really going on with weight issues. Through her own life experiences, she was able to speak so forthrightly & so humorously about those things that only those of us who have "been there, done that" could appreciate.
Geneen has a brand new book, WOMEN FOOD AND GOD. In this book she helps us see that it isn't really food that we want, even though we really, really want to believe that it is. Food will lead us to a discovery of what we are really hungering for in our lives. She presents her book through the eyes of those who attend her popular weeklong workshops. She keeps guiding her attendees back and back and back, gently, (sometimes) back to themselves. She helps to hold up a mirror to them so that they can see their reality.
I have read this book several times. I have 1 copy at home and 1 in my office. I also have purchased her CD of the same name & listen to it as I drive back & forth to my office through the Missouri River floodplain. You see, sad as it is to say, I learn best through repeated readings by me & also by hearing the same information. It really helps to get it through my thick head.
If I already have figured this out in my life & if I am already teaching these concepts to my clients why on Earth would I want to study this so intensely? There are always new ways of hearing things, of taking them in to increase my knowledge for both myself & my clients. I take all of you with me every where I go. I am always trying to make sense of myself so that I can share any insights that I glean that I think might be of help to you whether you are my client or my blog reader or both.
Well, I'm a little anxious about pushing "publish post" since I don't know what to expect from my trying to follow directions about how to list the copies of Geneen's books via Amazon. You see, I don't have my daughter, son nor their spouses handy as I sit here in my office tonight to give me their invaluable advice. Unexpected things often happen when I try new things on my computer, but here goes..........
Monday, May 24, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Some Reading Ideas for You
I have been reading for years & years about how to lose weight. Some things have really been helpful & others, well, they've made me hungry! Most recently I have been studying the brain and how the brain, mind & relationships interract to help create the most well-being in our lives. Are your eyes beginning to glaze over yet? I hope not because there is much going on in the area of neuroscience that is really helping me to understand why overeaters do the seemingly irrational things that we do. I believe that if we understand what is really going on underneath our bizarre behavior, we will begin to be able to make better choices. I am currently taking a year long on-line course with Dr. Dan Siegel with over 100 other students on all continents of the world except for Antarctica, although Dan is looking into having some penguins sign up! Anyway, it's very challenging &, to me, very exciting. I will be filling you in on what I am learning as I digest it (ah, yes, a food-related term, of course), make sense of it & then figure out a creative way to present it to you here.
I also wanted to mention that through Amazon, I have been given the opportunity to mention books that I highly recommend to you, my Dear Reader. These will then be displayed in some way on this blog that I do not quite understand that will allow you to order the book if you choose to do so. I also want to make it clear that I will receive a small fee if you do. I have done my very best in this blog to be painfully honest with you & do not want to do anything that will negatively affect whether you trust me. That's why I am being upfront about this. I am always interested in receiving feed back from you. Please let me know what you think.
In the meantime, I am reading, studying, savoring, counseling, living, loving, relating, gardening, jogging, hiking &, hopefully, garnering information that I can share with you to help you create a life worth living.
I also wanted to mention that through Amazon, I have been given the opportunity to mention books that I highly recommend to you, my Dear Reader. These will then be displayed in some way on this blog that I do not quite understand that will allow you to order the book if you choose to do so. I also want to make it clear that I will receive a small fee if you do. I have done my very best in this blog to be painfully honest with you & do not want to do anything that will negatively affect whether you trust me. That's why I am being upfront about this. I am always interested in receiving feed back from you. Please let me know what you think.
In the meantime, I am reading, studying, savoring, counseling, living, loving, relating, gardening, jogging, hiking &, hopefully, garnering information that I can share with you to help you create a life worth living.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Keeping Your Eye On The Ball
When I was a girl, learning to play softball, my Dad was my teacher. He would take me into our large back yard & begin with the basics.
I was an only child & was not allowed to cross the street until I was 12. Alas, all the neighborhood kids lived on the other side of the street. I was not able to learn from other kids since I had no access to them. Therefore, my Dad became my teacher.
Although I wasn't thrilled at the time, I now am extremely grateful for all of the wisdom that he shared with me. He would tell me, "Cheryl, you always have to keep your eye on the ball. If you do, you will be able to easily hit it." I always tried to do what my Dad told me to do because things always worked out when I did. I became a pretty good softball player. I always was able to hit the ball when we played in P.E. My friends couldn't figure out what my secret was. They, poor things, didn't have my Dad as a teacher.
What was even better for me was that Dad would notice times in my life when I was struggling with something & he would gently remind me, "Cheryl, I wonder if you've taken your eye off the ball...." Suddenly it would be clear in a very simple way exactly what I needed to do.
Dad never said anything to me about my weight issues. He had probably learned the hard way from my mom that that is one issue a man never brings up with a woman he loves - never, ever!! I wonder if anything would have gone differently if I had remembered to keep my eye on the ball in the food arena back then?
What would that look like? I read recently that Discipline (ugh! not an overeater's favorite word, right?) is about remembering what you really want....and behaving accordingly. So this has to do with being very clear with ourselves about what we really, really want. In the moment that an obsessional food thought strikes us, we might think that what we really want is a hot fudge sundae. But is that true? Is that what we really, really want? Or is there something deeper, something that goes beyond instant gratification that we want?
Let's look at the options: If we have that hot fudge sundae, the most delicously fun part is the anticipation. The actually eating of it may or may not be enjoyable. Often we stuff it down mindlessly without actually tasteing it, so we don't even know. We weren't there for the event. Our mind was elsewhere. But whether we enjoyed it or not, I can pretty well guarantee that the aftermath is bitter, indeed. The guilt sets in immediately. Once again, we have let ourselves down. We've shown ourselves how weak we are, etc., etc. The self-recrimination is painful and ugly.
What if we don't have that hot fudge sundae? Well, that all depends. It depends upon how we make that choice. Do we harshly & rigidly say to ourselves, "NO! You can't have that hot fudge sundae. Shame on you for even thinking of having it!" This sort of mean attitude causes us to either to have "poor me" thoughts which might end up in 2 hot fudge sundaes later or in rebellious thinking which might end up in at least 3 hot fudge sundaes later!!
Another way of making the choice to not have that hot fudge sundae comes from seriously considering the hot fudge sundae & at the same time remembering that what you really, really want. You might want to make healthy food choices that will make you feel good about yourself afterwards. You might remember that you want to be able to move around easily & fit into your clothing. You want to have the freedom to sit wherever you want without having to worry about whether you might get stuck in the chair, without having to worry about having to ask for a seat belt extender on the airplane. You want to have the freedom that comes from keeping your eye on the ball. You also want to continue to build a good, respectful relationship with yourself.
My Dad is gone now, but his message to me has taken on new meaning. I wake up in the morning, setting clear intentions for myself for the day ahead. I remind myself that I want to bring mindfulness into my moments whenever I am able. I always want to keep my eye on the ball of mindfulness, trying to make wise choices that will allow me to feel good about myself afterwards.
I was an only child & was not allowed to cross the street until I was 12. Alas, all the neighborhood kids lived on the other side of the street. I was not able to learn from other kids since I had no access to them. Therefore, my Dad became my teacher.
Although I wasn't thrilled at the time, I now am extremely grateful for all of the wisdom that he shared with me. He would tell me, "Cheryl, you always have to keep your eye on the ball. If you do, you will be able to easily hit it." I always tried to do what my Dad told me to do because things always worked out when I did. I became a pretty good softball player. I always was able to hit the ball when we played in P.E. My friends couldn't figure out what my secret was. They, poor things, didn't have my Dad as a teacher.
What was even better for me was that Dad would notice times in my life when I was struggling with something & he would gently remind me, "Cheryl, I wonder if you've taken your eye off the ball...." Suddenly it would be clear in a very simple way exactly what I needed to do.
Dad never said anything to me about my weight issues. He had probably learned the hard way from my mom that that is one issue a man never brings up with a woman he loves - never, ever!! I wonder if anything would have gone differently if I had remembered to keep my eye on the ball in the food arena back then?
What would that look like? I read recently that Discipline (ugh! not an overeater's favorite word, right?) is about remembering what you really want....and behaving accordingly. So this has to do with being very clear with ourselves about what we really, really want. In the moment that an obsessional food thought strikes us, we might think that what we really want is a hot fudge sundae. But is that true? Is that what we really, really want? Or is there something deeper, something that goes beyond instant gratification that we want?
Let's look at the options: If we have that hot fudge sundae, the most delicously fun part is the anticipation. The actually eating of it may or may not be enjoyable. Often we stuff it down mindlessly without actually tasteing it, so we don't even know. We weren't there for the event. Our mind was elsewhere. But whether we enjoyed it or not, I can pretty well guarantee that the aftermath is bitter, indeed. The guilt sets in immediately. Once again, we have let ourselves down. We've shown ourselves how weak we are, etc., etc. The self-recrimination is painful and ugly.
What if we don't have that hot fudge sundae? Well, that all depends. It depends upon how we make that choice. Do we harshly & rigidly say to ourselves, "NO! You can't have that hot fudge sundae. Shame on you for even thinking of having it!" This sort of mean attitude causes us to either to have "poor me" thoughts which might end up in 2 hot fudge sundaes later or in rebellious thinking which might end up in at least 3 hot fudge sundaes later!!
Another way of making the choice to not have that hot fudge sundae comes from seriously considering the hot fudge sundae & at the same time remembering that what you really, really want. You might want to make healthy food choices that will make you feel good about yourself afterwards. You might remember that you want to be able to move around easily & fit into your clothing. You want to have the freedom to sit wherever you want without having to worry about whether you might get stuck in the chair, without having to worry about having to ask for a seat belt extender on the airplane. You want to have the freedom that comes from keeping your eye on the ball. You also want to continue to build a good, respectful relationship with yourself.
My Dad is gone now, but his message to me has taken on new meaning. I wake up in the morning, setting clear intentions for myself for the day ahead. I remind myself that I want to bring mindfulness into my moments whenever I am able. I always want to keep my eye on the ball of mindfulness, trying to make wise choices that will allow me to feel good about myself afterwards.
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