Can you feel the difference in the air? Are you noticing differences in animals' behavior? Are you aware of the subtle & not so subtle signs of the change of seasons that is happening?
Well, let me get right down to what might really be within your awareness & on your mind: Are you craving carbs? and, is that freaking you out?
Well, let me tell you what I have observed over time. In the summer I'm full of energy. I enjoy being out in the sunshine, exercising, gardening, etc. I'm attracted to eating "lite". Salads are very appealing and satisfying. Life is good.
And then, "all of a sudden," I'm sluggish, wanting to take naps, & finding myself digging out recipes for heavy stews, chili, breads, desserts that I have traditionally made in the Fall. I'm craving carbs over and over again. What is wrong with me? This change in behavior panics me. Oh, no, I'm going to become a fat slug. Can you relate to this?
Let me tell you what else I have come to notice. The sunlight has changed. Around Aug. 15 I noticed that in my home, the light coming through the large windows we have in 2 sliding glass doors seemed to be dimmer. It's like when I turn the kitchen light on & realize that 1 of the 4 light bulbs in the fixture has burned out. It "just doesn't look right". I experience this dimming, as if someone pushed a dimmer switch in every room in our home.
This awareness had a familiar ring to it, so I went back to last year's journal &, sure enough, on Aug. 16, 2009 I had written about the same phenomenon.
I am very aware of the action of the animals around me since I love nature & observe it at every chance. We live in a woods & I notice that "all of a sudden", the squirrels have become very active. They are racing all over the trees, causing branches to dip & bow unexpectedly under their weight. They are beginning their loading up with acorns & other nuts & nutty behavior as they bury & then lose their nuts.
In the past couple of weeks the hummingbirds that visit my 2 feeders, have become what seems frantic in loading up on my homemade sugar water nectar. The past day or 2 I only see an occasional hummer at the feeders. I sadly realize that they were "gassing up" for their long migration south.
These are signs that winter is on it's way in the natural world. Why do we forget that we are also a part of that natural world, try as we might to pretend that it isn't so?
So, just like bears & ground hogs, our bodies sense the subtle light changes that signal that the sun is lower in the sky & cause us to have the urge to stock up our fat reserves so that we can survive the long, cold winter ahead of us. What does that best? Carbs, lots & lots of them. So that's why we are instinctively drawn to them. The thought of carbs keeps coming up over and over again in our minds, tempting and tormenting us.
STAY TUNED: In my next post I will give you a strategy for dealing with this annual phenomenon.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Body Image
Last week I had lunch with my daughter, Jessica. It's always wonderful to have time together with her. We have much in common.
I began talking to her about how sad I think it is that so many females waste valuable moments, days, weeks, etc. of their lives feeling unacceptable because of the way that their bodies look. Their focus is on other women's bodies and a running comparison with their own bodies. If they feel like the loser in this comparison, they're miserable and then feel painful thoughts of inferiority. They avoid doing things and going places until they lose some weight. I told Jessica that I used to be like that and that I'm so grateful that is all behind me. Famous Last Words.
That very evening I attended my gentle yoga / meditation group with a group of women & 1 or 2 brave men. I have participated in this group for almost 2 years & really look forward to going there. I feel very close to everybody who attends as we have had many wonderful moments together.
As we come in, we each go to the cupboard to take out a yoga mat & several blankets. We arrange our little space in the circle with our wonderful leader at the head. She begins with an inspirational reading. I was sitting on my meditation cushion, eyes closed, taking in the meaning of the words she had read and just settling into the lovely inner peace that always slowly moves into my body, like a mist covering a lake after a rain. I smiled to myself knowing that I had a full hour and a half of gentle stretches done at my body's own rate and intensity, followed by meditation.
I became aware that someone had settled down on my left. I opened my left eye and saw that it was a female I had never seen before. I went back to my revery again. A couple of minutes later we stood up & I glanced over at her, to give her a smile of welcome. I noticed that she was much thinner and taller than I. I also noticed that awareness was followed by a tightening in my stomach (maybe I was pulling in my stomach, not sure) There are intermittant mirrors on the wall ahead of us. I couldn't see myself, but I could clearly see the "new girl" on the block, in all of her perfection. I noticed how muscular her arms were. I saw the firmness of her abdomen and thighs. I was beginning to not like this person at all. All of my serenity had burned off like the mist over the lake when the sun comes out. My breathing was irregular. In some of our stretches, we rotate to the right, followed by rotation to the left. I couldn't wait for the rights to change to the left so that I could be even more aware of how superior she was, how inadequate I was. We began to do a simple balance pose on 1 foot. I could not hold it for more than a millisecond. I realized that I was totally ungrounded. I had lost myself.
Suddenly I remembered my conversation with Jessica & felt a smile come to my face. Oops!! Look at how quickly I had become lost. I spent years of my life lost in this type of painful comparison, so even though I was lost, I was in, indeed, very familiar territory. Once I realized what was happening, I was able to detach from this unhealthy behavior. I began to focus on my breath which brought my awareness back inside my own body and being. It felt sooooooo good to come back home!
Now I was back in my new familiar territory of self-care, self-acceptance just as I am. Mmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhh This was so much better. I felt safe, secure and serene. I settled down into total body (my body) awareness. My body needs this gentle movement and this acceptance. I spent the majority of my life searching for this wonderful way of being. I used food in my search. It helped keep me lost. Now I use food to support my newfound health.
My awareness of the new girl had moved to the background of my consciousness. It was always nice to have others present, but this time is my time for me to renew my body through gentle stretches and to renew my connection with my inner self.
I began talking to her about how sad I think it is that so many females waste valuable moments, days, weeks, etc. of their lives feeling unacceptable because of the way that their bodies look. Their focus is on other women's bodies and a running comparison with their own bodies. If they feel like the loser in this comparison, they're miserable and then feel painful thoughts of inferiority. They avoid doing things and going places until they lose some weight. I told Jessica that I used to be like that and that I'm so grateful that is all behind me. Famous Last Words.
That very evening I attended my gentle yoga / meditation group with a group of women & 1 or 2 brave men. I have participated in this group for almost 2 years & really look forward to going there. I feel very close to everybody who attends as we have had many wonderful moments together.
As we come in, we each go to the cupboard to take out a yoga mat & several blankets. We arrange our little space in the circle with our wonderful leader at the head. She begins with an inspirational reading. I was sitting on my meditation cushion, eyes closed, taking in the meaning of the words she had read and just settling into the lovely inner peace that always slowly moves into my body, like a mist covering a lake after a rain. I smiled to myself knowing that I had a full hour and a half of gentle stretches done at my body's own rate and intensity, followed by meditation.
I became aware that someone had settled down on my left. I opened my left eye and saw that it was a female I had never seen before. I went back to my revery again. A couple of minutes later we stood up & I glanced over at her, to give her a smile of welcome. I noticed that she was much thinner and taller than I. I also noticed that awareness was followed by a tightening in my stomach (maybe I was pulling in my stomach, not sure) There are intermittant mirrors on the wall ahead of us. I couldn't see myself, but I could clearly see the "new girl" on the block, in all of her perfection. I noticed how muscular her arms were. I saw the firmness of her abdomen and thighs. I was beginning to not like this person at all. All of my serenity had burned off like the mist over the lake when the sun comes out. My breathing was irregular. In some of our stretches, we rotate to the right, followed by rotation to the left. I couldn't wait for the rights to change to the left so that I could be even more aware of how superior she was, how inadequate I was. We began to do a simple balance pose on 1 foot. I could not hold it for more than a millisecond. I realized that I was totally ungrounded. I had lost myself.
Suddenly I remembered my conversation with Jessica & felt a smile come to my face. Oops!! Look at how quickly I had become lost. I spent years of my life lost in this type of painful comparison, so even though I was lost, I was in, indeed, very familiar territory. Once I realized what was happening, I was able to detach from this unhealthy behavior. I began to focus on my breath which brought my awareness back inside my own body and being. It felt sooooooo good to come back home!
Now I was back in my new familiar territory of self-care, self-acceptance just as I am. Mmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhh This was so much better. I felt safe, secure and serene. I settled down into total body (my body) awareness. My body needs this gentle movement and this acceptance. I spent the majority of my life searching for this wonderful way of being. I used food in my search. It helped keep me lost. Now I use food to support my newfound health.
My awareness of the new girl had moved to the background of my consciousness. It was always nice to have others present, but this time is my time for me to renew my body through gentle stretches and to renew my connection with my inner self.
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