So many clients are coming in to see me because they are feeling overwhelmed by all the global events that are transpiring. There is such an internal conflict that can arise within us as we sit comfortably in our home watching the horrendous earthquake & tsunami that inundated Japan & its scary after effects, watching Middle Eastern countries struggling to overtake their despotic leaders, watch our government leaders struggling to deal with our economic woes with all their dire predictions of what will happen if "the other side wins", and on and on it goes. There is little that most of us can do about these situations.
So what do we do with all the feelings of helplessness and sorrow that might arise for us? For those of us who have turned to food in our lives as a coping mechanism, it is an automatic reaction to reach for food, lots of food, to "stuff it all down".
The irony is that this food solution only causes more overwhelming feelings as guilt sets in for having overeaten.
What I have found is that bringing mindfulness into our lives helps us to slow down & notice the things that we do have some control over. Bringing mindful awareness to our body and noticing whether it is hungry or not is a great start. If it is hungry, we check to see if we want something hot or cold, creamy or crunchy, etc. We make sure that we make a time and place where we can let our meal be the center of our attention. We look at the food, taking in any smells, colors, shapes, noting the texture of the food in our mouth as we slowly savor the taste. We notice when our body gives us the subtle sign that we have had enough. This can be a very special, nurturing experience.
A special, nurturing experience is exactly what we need to balance our feelings of overwhelm and helplessness.
Stopping our hectic pace in this way is the pause that refreshes, the pause that can make all the difference to the quality of our life.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Good Bye, Good Buddy - In Memory of Diane Kessler
There always was something special about you. I asked my Mom yesterday why she and my Dad happened to invite you to go the circus with me way back when were both in first grade together. Mom said, "All your father & I kept hearing around the house was, "Diane this" and "Diane that". "We thought it would be nice for you to take a friend along to the circus & we both knew it had to be this Diane girl."
You were gentle & somewhat shy in grammar school & high school. At the same time you were determined about doing well in school and did what it took to get good grades, just the way you accomplished everything.
I was the one who was always thinking of ways to do things we weren't supposed to do such as trying out all of your Dad's alcohol mixed together one night when your parents went out. I tried to get both of us to be smokers. We both choked & coughed, but you were the one say, "Cheryl , this is stupid." I think you said that a lot to me. You were so level-headed.
After we married and you moved away on your adventure to Colorado with your "real man", we had many visits together. (Now I wish there had been many more, but it's too late to go down that path.) I was always amazed at how much you accomplished and how organized you were. You were creative in all of the things that you sewed and crafted. Your house was always filled with love - whether it was your fabulous cooking or all the loving family pictures that graced the walls. You thought about others and let them know how important they were.
You were so proud of Carrie and Aaron. Your letters and phone calls were all about what they were up to. Your Christmas letters were chock full of all the fun, learning, travel and wonderful friendships you & Lynn had with them.
Sid really enjoyed spending time with you from that very first night when you flew in to attend my son, Doug's, wedding. He could see immediately why I thought so much of you.
I told you how great grandchildren were, but you let me know that you had no idea that they would be that great after your grandsons began to make their appearances. They became the light of your life. I know that you have figured out how to watch over them from now on.
You were a trooper for these past 2 1/2 years. The brain tumor made you different, yet you were enough the same to be our wonderful Diane. We still had adventures that were stupid because they were my idea such as following Lynn & his brother (unbeknownst to them) down the train trail behind your house when I ended up 1/2 carrying you - one of my very most stupid ideas, for sure, but we laughed and laughed just like we did when we were little.
You were blessed with a husband who really rose to the occasion to be the most amazing "real man" a woman could ever want. I never saw such dedication &determination to make your last days the very best they could be and love.
You also were blessed with a daughter and son (and spouses) who used all of their creativity to find ways to amuse you, care for you and show you by their actions how grateful they were that you were their Mom.
I will miss you so very much. I don't think anyone has ever understood me, accepted me and laughed with me in the same way as you.
You will always be my best buddy, my best friend from first grade.
-Cheryl
You were gentle & somewhat shy in grammar school & high school. At the same time you were determined about doing well in school and did what it took to get good grades, just the way you accomplished everything.
I was the one who was always thinking of ways to do things we weren't supposed to do such as trying out all of your Dad's alcohol mixed together one night when your parents went out. I tried to get both of us to be smokers. We both choked & coughed, but you were the one say, "Cheryl , this is stupid." I think you said that a lot to me. You were so level-headed.
After we married and you moved away on your adventure to Colorado with your "real man", we had many visits together. (Now I wish there had been many more, but it's too late to go down that path.) I was always amazed at how much you accomplished and how organized you were. You were creative in all of the things that you sewed and crafted. Your house was always filled with love - whether it was your fabulous cooking or all the loving family pictures that graced the walls. You thought about others and let them know how important they were.
You were so proud of Carrie and Aaron. Your letters and phone calls were all about what they were up to. Your Christmas letters were chock full of all the fun, learning, travel and wonderful friendships you & Lynn had with them.
Sid really enjoyed spending time with you from that very first night when you flew in to attend my son, Doug's, wedding. He could see immediately why I thought so much of you.
I told you how great grandchildren were, but you let me know that you had no idea that they would be that great after your grandsons began to make their appearances. They became the light of your life. I know that you have figured out how to watch over them from now on.
You were a trooper for these past 2 1/2 years. The brain tumor made you different, yet you were enough the same to be our wonderful Diane. We still had adventures that were stupid because they were my idea such as following Lynn & his brother (unbeknownst to them) down the train trail behind your house when I ended up 1/2 carrying you - one of my very most stupid ideas, for sure, but we laughed and laughed just like we did when we were little.
You were blessed with a husband who really rose to the occasion to be the most amazing "real man" a woman could ever want. I never saw such dedication &determination to make your last days the very best they could be and love.
You also were blessed with a daughter and son (and spouses) who used all of their creativity to find ways to amuse you, care for you and show you by their actions how grateful they were that you were their Mom.
I will miss you so very much. I don't think anyone has ever understood me, accepted me and laughed with me in the same way as you.
You will always be my best buddy, my best friend from first grade.
-Cheryl
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