How to Care When You Don't Care

I've noticed in my own life, that there are those times when I know what the "right" thing to do is - whether it has to do with making a healthy food choice or going to the gym to work out. I might have started out the day with healthy intentions & then, all of a sudden, I hear myself telling myself, "I don't care". I just don't care. That's all there is to it, or so it seems. I'm a million miles away, emotionally, from what I normally want to do and how I want to behave.

At that time, it's as if there are 2 Cheryls: Cheryl who cares & Cheryl who does not care (& might even stamp her foot to drive the mood home)

I have discovered that, for me, it's a waste of time to argue with Cheryl, the foot stamper. She just becomes more determined than ever. What does seem to help this stand-off, is to accept that there are 2 different parts of me at play. It is pointless to judge them. When I relax by taking a couple of deep breaths, I sit back & think in terms of making room for both of these parts of me to exist simultaneously.

I suspect that the foot stamper developed when I was a child. In my family of origin, I was not allowed to stamp my feet in rebellion. That was not something that a "good little girl", raised in the '50's was supposed to do. I guess that that part of my personality "went underground" or was suppressed. However, it is still alive & well. I no longer want to judge that part of me. If I accept her, she calms down &, amazingly, begins to join with the part of me that cares.

It's about acceptance of all of who we are. Nobody is perfect. We all have traits, thoughts & feelings that we'd rather not share with the world. But, you see, that's the thing. We are all alike in this. If we can just accept what we see as unacceptable about ourselves, we will be able to give up the internal war and come to peace within, which is a wonderful way to live.