A Party in My Mouth

First some whining: I still am totally clogged up from the cold I got a week ago AND I still can't taste anything, let alone breathe without bursting into spasms of subterranean coughing & hacking, can't hear much of anything except my own coughing & wheezing, etc. Aaahhhh. That feels better. I needed that.

Now, let's get back to a relevant point: I haven't been able to taste anything for about a week. This has given me an excellent opportunity to contemplate the purpose of taste in my life, both pre- & post- mindfulness.

Pre-mf, I can remember becoming hugely anxious when I lost my sense of taste due to a cold. I would blow my nose incessantly, hoping to unclog the taste pipeline. I would press the food against the roof of my mouth with my tongue, thinking that that might squeeze out a zing of some sort of flavor. I would become somewhat (well, maybe a lot) obsessed about continuing to try different foods, thinking, "This time I'll get a taste". Other people lose weight when they lose their sense of taste. Not me. I would gain weight because I refused to ACCEPT what was going on. My body was working it's way through a cold & part of that process included loss of taste. It was as though I couldn't live without the entertainment of the taste of food in my mouth. Without the taste, I felt that there was nothing.

Post-mf, I'm aware that I feel disappointment in the morning when I have my first bite of food that there still is no taste due to my cold. That feeling passes & then I move on to experiencing eating without taste. Last night my husband, Sid, & I went to Uno's where I ordered a roasted veggie wrap. In the past I have really enjoyed the blend of flavors. Last night I became aware of the assortment of bright colors of the veggies - the brilliant reds of the roasted red peppers & tomatoes, the varying shades of green of the green peppers & zucchini, the purple of the onions & the yellow of the squash & cabbage. It was a frigid evening here in St. Louis, MO. Everything is gray & brown outside. It was delightful to see the colors of these veggies which had obviously grown elsewhere in the warm sunlight where they matured to the point of being harvested. What a blessing to have access to such healthy food. I then became aware of the potential for healing that these veggies offered my body which was busy trying its best to get me back to normal. I was grateful that I had made this food choice. I paid careful attention to the texture of the food in my mouth.

It seems to me now, that, if I look for it, there is always something of value to focus on. I guess in the past, I made up my mind ahead of time about "how things are supposed to be". (eg., You are supposed to be able to taste food, no matter what) I would then go about trying to force things into my narrow requirements.

The older I get, the more life I experience, the more I work with clients to help them live the best lives they can live, the more it becomes clear to me that ACCEPTANCE OF WHAT IS RIGHT NOW is really important. That doesn't mean resignation & giving up. It means that we always have the "opportunity" to make the best of whatever is right now in this very moment.

As my Dad, Les Kelchner, was dying, he told me, "Cheryl, one thing you need to remember & tell your clients is:

ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE BEAUTY IN LIFE
YOU MIGHT NOT SEE IT AT FIRST,
BUT, IF YOU LOOK,
IT WILL BE THERE"

So, even though I no longer have, nor want, the wild & wooly parties in my mouth of my earlier life with their high fat, high sugar, high calorie content, I, now, see & enjoy the abundant richness that comes my way when I pay mindful attention to the food choices I make.